I looked up the word “feeling” just for fun to see what insight I might gain from a new definition. I do this often because I know a fresh perspective on a word or sentence can inspire a whole new way of thinking.
One definition of feeling: “the emotional side of someone’s character, emotional responses or tendencies to respond, showing emotion or sensitivity.”
Some of what I do involves helping people discover and appreciate their emotional point of view. Our feelings and emotions change subtly, from moment to moment, depending on the sensory input a person is receiving in the moment.
A Powerful Tool
Becoming aware, comfortable and fluent with your emotional point of view is a powerful tool. Effectively expressing your emotional point of view is the secret ingredient that makes for a great speech or presentation. The greatest leaders are admired for their strength and poise, impossible without frank and intimate self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Why are so many people afraid to express their feelings and emotions? Because vulnerability is frightening. If people express themselves and reveal the truth about themselves everyone will see them and if they are seen they will be judged, a frightening prospect if you don’t want to been seen or judged.
Have you ever watched a speech and found it boring? That the presenter had given a one-note presentation? That’s probably because the speaker hadn’t connected with the audience with authenticity and that usually involves some vulnerability.
Developing awareness of your emotional point of view has a cumulative effect. When your “feelings” aren’t an intrusion but become part of your living, breathing communications, you will naturally find deeper levels of connection to others. They will notice that you are more attuned to their feelings as well. Be there and empathize. Let them know you feel it too.
You would be surprised how much trust is born when people share their emotions and feelings. As a teacher, the frustrating part for me has always been getting people to look past the fear that they might look foolish expressing themselves in this new way. Fear of failure runs deep in so many people. But the thing is the fear keeps leading them down the same failed journey.
The Importance of Demonstrating Foolishness
One of my favorite things is “demonstrating foolishness” to prove it’s not fatal. It’s fun! AM I a fool? NO! Unless you are an actual “fool,” don’t worry too much about “appearing” foolish for a moment. Your confidence supports you.
I swear to you – if you decide to take on your fears, no matter what they are, and meet them with some honest feelings and emotions you will come out of the shadows and into the light of being seen and heard!